The Insomniac

I have spent most of my life overthinking. One of my biggest fears was death—not just because of dying itself, but because I constantly worried about what would happen to my family if I were no longer there to take care of them. This fear affected many aspects of my life. I never truly enjoyed activities that others found exciting, such as fast driving, flying, or traveling to the mountains, because my mind was always occupied with thoughts of something bad happening.

Things became much worse when I started overthinking a mild headache and convinced myself that I might have a brain tumor. This triggered severe health anxiety. Soon, I began experiencing symptoms such as breathlessness, dizziness, and constant worry. I eventually sought professional help, and my doctor prescribed medication to help calm my mind. The treatment was beneficial, but my habit of overthinking remained. I spent hours researching my symptoms, reading about medications, and constantly searching for reassurance online.

My next challenge began when I stopped taking the medication. I became convinced that I would not be able to sleep without it. Unfortunately, that fear became a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I developed insomnia. What started as health anxiety, gradually transformed into anxiety about sleep itself. I sought treatment for insomnia and underwent a short course of therapy and medication.

The journey was not easy. Those were some of the most difficult days of my life. However, I refused to give up. I worked on myself, challenged my fears, and slowly rebuilt my confidence. I reminded myself that I was capable of sleeping naturally again, and that I did not need to be controlled by anxiety.

Today, I am in a much better place. My health anxiety is gone, I sleep well without medication, and I have learnt that recovery is possible. The experience taught me that anxiety can be incredibly convincing, but with the right support, patience, and self-belief, it can be overcome. I am grateful for how far I have come and hopeful for the future.